There’s no doubt about it — break-ups hurt. Whether you’re the one that did the breaking up or the one that got dumped, the end of a relationship can make you feel inadequate, lonely, dejected, or just plain heart-wrenchingly sad. Below are my ideas on surviving, bouncing back and healing your heart quickly in the confusing time following a break-up:
- Detox time! What would be the first thing you would do if you were embarking on a health kick? You’d remove the junk currently residing in your refrigerator, right? Well, when it comes to break-ups, the formula is much the same — the temptations (in this case, temptations to wallow!) have gotta go! This new phase of your life calls for a clean out of reminders of you and your ex. Box up old photo’s and letters, and delete emails and text messages. What you focus on is what you feel, so follow the old ‘out of sight, out of mind’ rule to eradicate painful emotional triggers. I’m not saying it will necessarily be an easy task, but believe me, it will really help speed up the grieving process. Promise.
- While you’re at it, why not give your house/ room a spring clean? I find cleaning to be amazingly therapeutic and it will definitely take your mind off things for a while! Break out the vacuum cleaner, throw on your bikini, crank up your stereo, and get cleaning-crazy!
- Be kind to your body. When we feel stressed or upset, our emotions can wreak havoc on our bodies, and it’s especially important at a time like this to try and look after ourselves. Drink lots of water, eat regular, healthy meals, and steer clear of alcohol or substances — these depressants will only make you feel a thousand times worse in the long run.
- Exercise. It’s my fail-safe fix for any emotional crisis — I just find it such an incredible mind-clearing tool. Even if your endorphin buzz is short-lived, remind yourself that even small spurts of happiness are better than nothing. Your normal, vibrant, happy-go-lucky demeanour will return before you know it, and I think you will find that taking a proactive approach to working through your emotions is the fastest cure for a broken heart.
- Make an effort to throw on your favourite outfit, fix your hair, put on some make-up and get back out into the world! Hiding away in your pyjama’s, bleary-eyed, devouring blocks of chocolate and watching romantic movies unfortunately won’t have a very positive effect on your mood, so try and pick yourself back up and do something fun, just because you can. Go dancing, flirt, eat cupcakes in a cafe and stay so long the owners have to kick you out! It’s important to feel your way through your emotions, but it’s equally important when you are feeling flat to deposit innumerable amounts of glee back into your life… and the little things really do work!
- Seek out some new friends. Sometimes people feel torn by loyalty to both parties when a couple breaks up, so it’s always nice to branch out and meet new people. This doesn’t mean you have to stop seeing your current acquaintances — you’re merely adding new, happy faces to your friendship bank! Bond with people over common interests, see your glorious self as an outsider would, and check your relationship baggage at the door — remember that the process of making new friends is so you can move forward to better and brighter things!
- Take a trip somewhere fabulous! What are you waiting for? Generating new memories is the best way to stop backtracking and clinging on to the past. Sometimes, just separating yourself geographically from the situation can have a tremendously positive effect. Give it a go!
- Spend time alone. Re-connect with YOU. Meditate. Think. Plan. Recover. Set goals for the future that will enable you to reach your full potential as an individual.
- Move past feelings of rejection, loneliness, abandonment, and insecurity. These emotions will hold you back and undermine the healing process. Accept, forgive, and move forward with an open heart.
- Embrace new activities! You’ll probably find that you have some spare time on your hands now, so do something for yourself! Join a club, sign up for a course, fulfill a passion. The world is your oyster — set your heart on fire my little bright spark!
Please, please don’t bottle your feelings and drown your soul in sorrow. Talk it through. Get support. If you ever need someone to chat to, or just a shoulder to cry on, send me an email. In the time following a break-up, re-introduce to the world your wonderful, intriguing, wise, self — and remember, when one door closes, another one always opens. I firmly believe that!
Over to you:
What are your tips for dealing with a break-up? How have you dealt in the past? Spill the beans in the comments section! We all deal with things differently, so I would love to hear you take on it all!
Warm, affectionate hugs, big kisses & all the happiness in the world coming your way!
Rach xxx
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Photo from foto decadent
I wish I could give credit back to the author for this amazing quote, by unfortunately it’s from someone by the name of ‘anonymous’! Anyway, I think it’s a fantastic quote & it really resonated with me… Hope it does for you too! Enjoy!
People are unreasonable, illogical & self-centred.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you may win false friends & true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty & transparency make you vulnerable.
Be honest & transparent anyway.
What you spend your years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People who really want help may attack you if you help them.
Help them anyway.
Give the world the best you have & you may get hurt.
Give the world your best anyway.
The world is full of conflict.
Choose peace of mind anyway.
Big smooches,
Rach xxx
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It gives me great pleasure to announce the winner of the very first Bright Side Lover giveaway!
Firstly, let me explain how the winner was selected…
A few of you had commented under the ‘Style vs. Fashion’ article, while others had commented under the article describing the giveaway, so in order to make it fair, I copied & pasted all the comments into one document & proceeded to undertake my extremely technical scrolling method!
And voila — my trusty cursor just happened to stop on one Miss Amy! This was her comment:
As a budding fashion student I want to open my eyes & gather inspiration from not just the vast collection of different people with their different interpretations of style & fashion around me but from art, from nature, from the city & from things that are so orginal I truly can fine-tune my style so it is one of a kind. Be bolder with my fashion equations, take a leap & trust my eye for design & those looks from plain closed-minded people! Also I’m on a student budget, so I need to find little style ideas to refresh my clothes without spending too much!
… so lovely Amy, if you could pretty please email me your name & address (you can do this through my contact page), I will get your copy of the very cool Style from A to Zoe: The Art of Fashion, Beauty, & Everything Glamour out to you asap!
Hope you LOVE it! And thank you everyone for your comments… let’s keep spreading the love, smiling big, & building up this vibrant (and might I say, utterly amazing!) Bright Side Lover community!
Happy Friday!
Rach xxx
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- Everyone should read The Daily Motivator! I used to religiously email these to my boyfriend every morning and they truly are the best way to start the day! Lines like these make my heart sing:
Make your image of yourself and your life a positive one, and you’ll program yourself for real, sustained success. Imagine yourself at your very best, and hold that image firmly in your mind, day after day, moment by moment. Bookmark it & check in daily!
- The reason your hair still waves and kinks inappropriately after using your GHD from fruitybeauty. Fruity is SO RIGHT! I always wondered why my at-home straightening skills were so lack-lustre (well, not to mention the fact that I’m no hairdresser)! Also, check out a great video demo on perfecting GHD curls here.
- 40+ Networking Tools for Freelancers - awesome resource list! Bookmark it if you’re setting the world on fire and doing your own thing!
- Man, balloon art has come a looong way. Like, seriously.
- Ok, I really love Things I Have Learned in My Life So Far! There are some really varied submissions & it serves as a touching, insightful reminder that the simple things in life are often the most poignant. Really fantastic concept!
- Awesome Photoshop tutorial on facial retouching from PSDtuts.
- Has everyone seen the Dear God site? Very interesting read… although it’s not all necessarily positive, it’s a brilliant forum & appears to be incredibly therapeutic, which can only be a good thing! Oh, and the site design is super bright & sleek, which, as you may have gathered, kinda makes me happy…
- Julia-Fullerton Batten is one of my favourite photographers. When you go to her site, click on ‘PROJECTS’ & then ‘IN BETWEEN’ — how good are these images?! If you like her work, make sure you also check out these shots here (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) of teenage girls wandering around dwarfed surroundings, which, in my opinion, are the coolest in her portfolio to date.
- Three Sneaky Traps of Positive Thinking is a fabulous article from one of my fave regular reads, The Positivity Blog.
- Dumb Little Man always has amazing articles! This week, my picks are Get Back to Healthy Eating: 8 Easy Steps to Post-Vacation Recovery and 5 Snacks That Will Smash That Afternoon Groggy Feeling.
- It’s all about shades in the latest Accessory Report from the lovely ladies at WhoWhatWearDaily.com.
Soo… what sites are you frequenting this week? What’s got you all linked up? Let’s share the link love sweet peas!
Rach xxx
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Just your friendly blogger here…!
Has everyone posted their comment for the ‘Style from A to Zoe’ giveaway?
You’ve got another day (& a bit) to getcha, getcha, getcha entries in, as I’ll be drawing the winner early Friday (27th) morning! Please remember to post your comment on the ‘Style vs. Fashion’ article.
Have a wonderfully shiny, outrageously happy, & amazingly rewarding day pumpkins — you deserve nothing less!
Woo-ooh-ooooh….
Rach xxx
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