There’s no doubt about it — break-ups hurt. Whether you’re the one that did the breaking up or the one that got dumped, the end of a relationship can make you feel inadequate, lonely, dejected, or just plain heart-wrenchingly sad. Below are my ideas on surviving, bouncing back and healing your heart quickly in the confusing time following a break-up:
- Detox time! What would be the first thing you would do if you were embarking on a health kick? You’d remove the junk currently residing in your refrigerator, right? Well, when it comes to break-ups, the formula is much the same — the temptations (in this case, temptations to wallow!) have gotta go! This new phase of your life calls for a clean out of reminders of you and your ex. Box up old photo’s and letters, and delete emails and text messages. What you focus on is what you feel, so follow the old ‘out of sight, out of mind’ rule to eradicate painful emotional triggers. I’m not saying it will necessarily be an easy task, but believe me, it will really help speed up the grieving process. Promise.
- While you’re at it, why not give your house/ room a spring clean? I find cleaning to be amazingly therapeutic and it will definitely take your mind off things for a while! Break out the vacuum cleaner, throw on your bikini, crank up your stereo, and get cleaning-crazy!
- Be kind to your body. When we feel stressed or upset, our emotions can wreak havoc on our bodies, and it’s especially important at a time like this to try and look after ourselves. Drink lots of water, eat regular, healthy meals, and steer clear of alcohol or substances — these depressants will only make you feel a thousand times worse in the long run.
- Exercise. It’s my fail-safe fix for any emotional crisis — I just find it such an incredible mind-clearing tool. Even if your endorphin buzz is short-lived, remind yourself that even small spurts of happiness are better than nothing. Your normal, vibrant, happy-go-lucky demeanour will return before you know it, and I think you will find that taking a proactive approach to working through your emotions is the fastest cure for a broken heart.
- Make an effort to throw on your favourite outfit, fix your hair, put on some make-up and get back out into the world! Hiding away in your pyjama’s, bleary-eyed, devouring blocks of chocolate and watching romantic movies unfortunately won’t have a very positive effect on your mood, so try and pick yourself back up and do something fun, just because you can. Go dancing, flirt, eat cupcakes in a cafe and stay so long the owners have to kick you out! It’s important to feel your way through your emotions, but it’s equally important when you are feeling flat to deposit innumerable amounts of glee back into your life… and the little things really do work!
- Seek out some new friends. Sometimes people feel torn by loyalty to both parties when a couple breaks up, so it’s always nice to branch out and meet new people. This doesn’t mean you have to stop seeing your current acquaintances — you’re merely adding new, happy faces to your friendship bank! Bond with people over common interests, see your glorious self as an outsider would, and check your relationship baggage at the door — remember that the process of making new friends is so you can move forward to better and brighter things!
- Take a trip somewhere fabulous! What are you waiting for? Generating new memories is the best way to stop backtracking and clinging on to the past. Sometimes, just separating yourself geographically from the situation can have a tremendously positive effect. Give it a go!
- Spend time alone. Re-connect with YOU. Meditate. Think. Plan. Recover. Set goals for the future that will enable you to reach your full potential as an individual.
- Move past feelings of rejection, loneliness, abandonment, and insecurity. These emotions will hold you back and undermine the healing process. Accept, forgive, and move forward with an open heart.
- Embrace new activities! You’ll probably find that you have some spare time on your hands now, so do something for yourself! Join a club, sign up for a course, fulfill a passion. The world is your oyster — set your heart on fire my little bright spark!
Please, please don’t bottle your feelings and drown your soul in sorrow. Talk it through. Get support. If you ever need someone to chat to, or just a shoulder to cry on, send me an email. In the time following a break-up, re-introduce to the world your wonderful, intriguing, wise, self — and remember, when one door closes, another one always opens. I firmly believe that!
Over to you:
What are your tips for dealing with a break-up? How have you dealt in the past? Spill the beans in the comments section! We all deal with things differently, so I would love to hear you take on it all!
Warm, affectionate hugs, big kisses & all the happiness in the world coming your way!
Rach xxx
